A Story About Paying Off Debt and the Obstacles Along the Way

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Overwhelmed

I'm just popping in for a couple of minutes to say that, well, I'm feeling a little overwhelmed.

Yes, I'm feeling overwhelmed with work + side hustle, but I knew that would be the case and was somewhat prepared to cope.

As the seasons change and as I approach my 39th birthday, I'm also overwhelmed by other questions and thoughts (I mean questions and thoughts aside from natural disasters, politics, and suffering, which occupy a big part of my headspace on a daily basis):
  • Was that career change (from academia) two years ago a good idea? I don't miss the stress of being a tenure-track professor, but I miss my area of specialty to the point that I feel almost homesick for it on a daily basis.
  • What are my career goals now? Do I even have a career goal, or is my goal simply to use my job as a way to live in a place I love, do the things I want to do, and get good health insurance? 
  • I keep thinking about starting my own business - it's something I've wanted to do for years - and I have some ideas... But at what point would I be ready to make that leap? Is it worth trying to map out a plan, or is that just a total pipe dream from a very privileged lady?
  • What are my goals - other than debt elimination! - and dreams? What are the things I love? How do I make those goals and dreams part of my life?
  • Man, life is short.
So I'll keep thinking on these things, and meanwhile, if you have anything to offer in the way of suggestions, advice, or your own experiences, please feel free to share! I'd love to get your thoughts.
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4 comments:

  1. I am the same age as you so take the following with a grain of salt. If I could go back and change anything about my past it would be to tell myself not to worry so much. You are exactly where you are supposed to be. Your career change had pluses and minuses and now, without all the other crap clouding your view, you have a chance to see what parts you truly enjoyed. You can make something out of that. Perhaps in the way of your own business. :)

    As for career goals... If you don't have one, that's ok!! I work in an industry where there is no future growth. I am at the top of what I can do and even at the top of the pay scale. I have literally hit the ceiling. And you know what, I'm ok with that. It takes the pressure off. I can focus on doing my job, saving my money, and getting the fuck out as soon as I can. That doesn't mean I have to hate my job in the meantime, it just means I am content with it.

    The goals and dreams are a whole other issue. Sometimes when you are contemplating lifes BIG questions it is hard to see the bright stuff. Write down the things you love or the things that make you smile and start doing at least one per day. Cuddling with my dog make me happy. Laying in a hammock reading makes me happy. Hiking makes me happy. And sharing a good bottle of red with friends makes me happy. It doesn't have to be grand. It just has to make you smile.

    I am so sorry for the long comment but I have been where you are and wanted you to know that pondering these questions is something we all get caught up in. You aren't alone with that! I have an existential crisis every other week. And then I keep moving forward.

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    Replies
    1. Thanks for your thoughtful comment, Miss Mazuma! Yes, I have a little growth potential in my job (not a ton, but some), but it's a field that I kind of accidentally landed in - so I'm still adjusting. There are things I really love about it and things that are pretty meh, but it's fine overall. Ideally, I'd do something more creative. That's why I'm thinking through the idea of my own business, though I'm in no rush to figure it out tomorrow.

      Hopefully I don't give the impression that I don't see the good things. I love where I live and my family is great. I have health insurance and a retirement fund. I get to hike in cool places. So yeah, life is good, and that's what gives me the luxury to ponder my career.

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    2. Not at all - you didn't give that impression!! It just sucks to have all those thoughts swirling when there are no immediate answers or decisions to be made. I hate feeling like I am in limbo in my thoughts even if I am not in my life. You know? Your post spoke to me because I have the same thoughts! We can all count our blessings on one hand and then get fogged with the questions on the other. That doesn't mean you don't appreciate the good. :)

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    3. Thank you so much! I really appreciate that. It's great to know that someone gets it. I love my life but yes, career-wise, I do feel like I am in limbo-land. I'll be interested to see what happens with that.

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